5SR - January 16, 2023
Dr. Jessica Wilen on millennials dreading motherhood, alloparents, and politics between family members
Today’s #5SmartReads contributor is Dr. Jessica Wilen. Dr. Wilen is an executive coach and organizational consultant focused on advancing the human side of leadership. She particularly enjoys working with working parents, Millennial women, and academics. She lives on the Connecticut shoreline with her husband, two kids, and geriatric dog. Her dream day involves a good book, lukewarm green tea, stinky cheese, and a trip to the beach.
How millennials learned to dread motherhood (Vox)
This is a really thoughtful and in-depth article about the repercussions of modern motherhood narratives. I highly recommend reading it in its entirety, but I’m pulling out a a paragraph that particularly resonated:
“For at least the last decade, women my age have absorbed cultural messaging that motherhood is thankless and depleting, straining careers, health, and friendships, and destroying sex lives. Today, it’s genuinely difficult to find mainstream portrayals of moms who are not stressed to the brink, depressed, isolated, or increasingly resentful.”
Two things are true—open and honest conversations about the isolating parts of motherhood are helpful in making mothers feel less guilty and alone AND they likely also serve to deter non-mothers from parenthood. Conversations about modern motherhood (and fatherhood) certainly benefit from nuance—something that social media isn’t particularly good at.
Female surgeons sexually assaulted while operating (BBC)
Having spent five years as an internal organizational climate consultant at an academic medical center, I can tell you—unequivocally—that being a female surgeon is difficult. But these statistics from an anonymous survey of registered surgeons working in the British National Health Service were shocking:
63% of women had been the target of sexual harassment from colleagues
30% of women had been sexually assaulted by a colleague
11% of women reported forced physical contact related to career opportunities
What’s even more alarming is that these numbers only capture incidents involving colleagues. Female doctors and surgeons are also more likely than their male colleagues to experience sexual harassment from patients.
Though the British General Medical Council updated their professional standards for physicians in light of these survey findings, changing the toxic culture is a much longer process.
Bringing up a baby can be a tough and lonely job. Here's a solution: alloparents (NPR)
Why does parenting feel so difficult so much of the time? The answer—of course—is multifactorial, but one clear reason that I think a lot about it is how isolating modern, Western parenthood is. As this article points out, “for the vast majority of human history, mothers had a huge amount of help caring for infants – and even a lot of support with toddlers as well.” Anthropologists refer to these involved helpers as “alloparents” (with “allo-” being the Greek prefix for “other”).
A recent study of the Mbendjele people, who live in the northern rainforests of the Republic of Congo, found that each child had an average of eight hands-on caregivers—other than mom and dad—who provided regular, hands-on care. The researchers point out that human parents have evolved to succeed in these communal caregiving environments—not the often isolating two-parent (or single parent) families. They hypothesize that this “mismatch” plays a role in the high rates of postpartum depression in the West.
Sentenced to life for an accident miles away (The New Yorker)
Felony murder is a legal concept that allows a person to be charged with murder if they are involved in a felony crime where someone is killed, even if the person charged did not actually commit the murder.
The felony murder charge has been a subject of controversy for many years because it can result in someone being charged with murder even if they did not intend to kill anyone. This smart and nuanced article explores the topic, using Sadik Baxter's case to illustrate why this draconian law needs to be be re-examined.
My father, my faith, and Donald Trump (The Atlantic)
This article is a gifted free read
With the 2024 election cycle looming, I will admit that I'm feeling increasing anxiety about our country's future. This is a personal essay, written by journalist Tim Alberta, about his evangelical pastor father. He touches on Christian nationalism, the breakdown of civil political discourse, and the impact of families and community.
I found it to be very powerful.
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